Sunday, February 9, 2014

How a copy of The New Dawn keeps a couples’ marriage grounded



When Muhammad and Siama got married in 2011 in an Islamic cum traditional Nubian wedding ceremony, little did they know that they would feature in The New Dawn newspaper. Three years later, a copy of the same hangs in their living room to serve as constant reminder of their wedding vows 

By The New Dawn reporter

It is not every day that you will find framed copy of The New Dawn’s entertainment magazine-Marhaba Life and Style inside someone’s living room in full view of visitors who come calling. Well! Muhammad Gituma Gikunda and Siama Ajabsidu Yusuf-a couple The New Dawn featured in March 2011 on their unique and colourful wedding that was conducted in line with Islamic teachings as well as in observance of Nubian traditions; have just done it.

That this neatly framed copy not only evokes emotional attachment for this couple but also acts a constant remainder of their wedding ceremony and a check when their marriage encounters trying moments or misunderstandings; is something that ought to be admired if not emulated.
Three years down the line after exchanging vows and now with a child in that union, The New Dawn was humbled by this couple’s initiative to document and preserve a copy of their wedding.
“Initially, I had thought of filing it but a better idea come to my mind that I should frame it,” says Muhammad. “Filing the copy would have exposed it to the elements leading to a fast wear and tear.”   
Soon Muhammad with the help of a friend who sells glass panels was able to actualise his idea of framing the copy. “It cost me close to KSh2000 to have it framed,” says Muhammad.   
By preserving it in between a glass and a plywood panel, Muhammad was assured that it would last for quite a while. “The glass and plywood acts as protection from elements such as moisture and dust environments common in many houses. That is how we have managed to keep the copy in its original form.”
For visitors coming to Muhammad and Siama house, they are usually bound to ask questions and this where Muhammad is glad to explain to them how Islamic wedding are conducted. “Most questions from visitors are on why Muslim grooms say ‘I do’ in the absence of their bride.” Many are also keen to know how his wedding ended up being captured in a Muslim newspaper.
Siama’s friends also strain to look at the framed copy just to confirm it is her. “They cannot believe it was my wedding that was publicised on a Muslim newspaper.”
Just to access how this simple copy of Muhammad and Siama’s wedding has impacted on the rest of the Nubian community, Muhammad says that it has actually been filed and preserved at the Nubian Cultural Center among others. “It is a reference point for young Nubian parents, couples or future generations who are not well versed in Nubian tradition. They can go through it and get ideas on how to go about their weddings within the confines of Islamic teachings at the same time in view of Nubian traditions.”
According to Muhammad, social media sites have also helped draw attention to some of Nubian way of life. “When I posted pictures of my wedding on Face Book, I got a lot of questions and responses.” Others who have played a part in highlighting Nubian traditions include the blogspot, latasabah.blogspot.com, where incidentally you are bound to stumble upon some of Muhammad and Siama wedding pictures courtesy of The New Dawn. 
Interestingly, Muhammad’s brother Hassan Mugambi Gituma who works at a local TV station as a news anchor did a documentary a while ago on the life of an ordinary Nubian from birth till death. “So my wedding ceremony came in to emphasis how a traditional Nubian wedding is conducted,” adds Muhammad. 
What does their three year old kid, Arafa Kendi, say when she sees the framed copy of her parents’ wedding? “She often asks me where my colourful wedding gown is and when I shall put it on again,” says Siama. “I also assure Arafa that when her wedding comes, I will proudly hand over the same wedding gown to her.”
For Muhammad, little Arafa is used to seeing him don some of his wedding attire during Muslim Idd festivities and Jumma prayers.
But beside the glamour and colour of their wedding, Muhammad and Siama confide to The New Dawn the behind the scenes things not obvious to the ordinary people back then. Actually, at the time of conducting the wedding, both were jobless. “It may be true that many thought we had a lot of money to conduct such a wedding but we did not have much,” confides Siama.
According to Muhammad the main driving force was love. “Nothing can stop love! We loved each other and left our fate in the hands of Allah knowing very well that He provides rizk (sustenance). Prayer and perseverance also played a key role.”   
Luckily three months after the wedding, Siama got a job at a local non-governmental organisation as Muhammad continued ‘hustling’ for almost a year and half.
“I recently got a job and I thank Allah for it as well as for a persevering wife and child. During my days of unemployment, the framed copy of our wedding was a constant reminder of the vows I had taken before Allah to stick to my wife through thick and thin,” says Muhammad.
In times of misunderstandings between this couple, again, the framed copy strategically placed in their living room reminds them of their good times. “Any marriage has it’s fair share of challenges and ours in no exception. This framed copy keeps both of us ‘grounded’,” the couple says. 
On a sad note, according Muhammad, Salama Ibrahim-one of the Res (a role given to a mature person in the family of the husband-to-be who can be either a male or female) involved in his wedding passed on three months thereafter. “She was actually like a grandmother and mum to me. I am grateful for the role she played in my wedding.”
It is also evident that young Nubian women are not keen in gaining such vital knowledge on Nubian traditions as one with Salama and Muhammad fears it would be lost as there are no records or documentation of such knowledge among current Nubians.  
On a brighter side, Muhammad and Siama wedding had an effect among their wedding best men and women. “My Uzir (best man), Habib Ali, got married thereafter,” says Muhammad. For Siama it was her best maid, Yasmin Mohammed.
Muhammad and Siama’s parting short to prospective Muslim couples and especially the youth is not make their weddings an expensive affair. “Nikah is half of Muslims’ religion so do not fear the marriage institution. However, make that wedding ceremony simple because there is a life after that wedding. Do not compare yours’ with others.”

SOURCE ; THE NEW DAWN.

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