Culture and religion define...
A Nubian wedding
By Iddi Musyemi- The New Dawn http://www.thenewdawn.info/
A jovial procession brings to a standstill the many activities that have been going on in the alleyways of Kibera. Men are singing on top of their lungs trying to be at par with loud drums accompanying them.
Long ululations come from women. People gather around the procession and in few minutes the alleys are blocked. Human and vehicle traffic come to a halt. “What’s going on,” is the question onpeoples’ tongues. Apparently such occasions are few and far between. And when they chance, curious onlookers will take the opportunity to satisfy their curiosity. The occasion is the final event of what has been going on for two weeks as two families have been engaged in talks on behalf of their children. Proposals have been made and demands have been met.
On this day, Muhammad Gituma Gikunda and Siama Ajabsidu Yusuf are going to be pronounced husband and wife. It is a Nubian community wedding and like all other weddings, there are some cultural aspects that are in place in this one. The whole family is at the centre of the event and there are clear cut roles for each and every member to take. The most important role is that of a Res. It is a role given to a mature person in the family of the husband-to-be who can be either a male or female.
Salama Ibrahim, 54, is the Res on this occasion and she is assisted by Naima Ibrahim, 58, among other women. They are both in charge of the ceremony and their role is to ensure that everything concerning the wedding goes according to plan.
“It’s an important role because it makes one responsible for the event from the time it begins to the end,” Salama says. It’s a role they have assumed for three days towards the wedding.
Salama admits that so much has changed in the Nubian culture and that the current wedding does not strictly follow the Nubian culture.
Bride Price
In the older times, it was the responsibility of the parents to find their child a wife. Emissaries would be send to a family with a suitable girl and talks would be opened.
When all was agreeable a bride price would be paid and a wedding followed. “Nowadays the boy and the girl meet and agree by themselves before approaching their respective parents,” Salama laments. “In such a case, the parents have no option but to accept.”
“After that, a letter will be written by the parents of the boy to the parents of the girl proposing a marriage.”
The letter is a recent introduction into the Nubian culture and it is as important today as the sending of emissaries in the old times.
“The letter will declare the love of the couples for each other and proceed to request for the demands from the girl’s family,” Salama says. The family of the girl will deliberate on the proposal letter and ask the acceptance of the wife to be. On agreement, the reply to the letter would include the bride price, demand for listed gifts for the girl’s parents. This is sent to the family of the boy for deliberations.
Naima recalls that traditionally everything was easy and simple and the bride price was not as expensive as it is nowadays. It was money for both parents and simple gifts which would be conducted between parents of the couples. “It would be Shs600 for the father and Shs300 for the mother,” Naima says.
“Clothes too would be sent to the girl as a present.”
“Nowadays the money can be as much as Shs50,000 and above,” Naima says.
Nubian community is divided into clans and inter-clan marriages also determines the process. It takes more time for two people from different clans to get married than it would people from the same clan.
“This is because the other clan will consider their cultural practice which they want observed and it may make the whole process more expensive and time consuming as haggling takes place between the two clans,” Salama says.
The gifts for the bride may include clothes, incense, shoes, henna, candles, soaps, razor blades and blankets and are only sent after the proposal is agreed on.
Wish them well Muslim wedding practices have been adopted by Nubian community and they are evident in this wedding.
The girl is the one who says what mahari, (bride price), she wants and on payment or satisfaction of the girl’s demand the wedding can then proceed.
Mohamed Ibrahim, known as Sheikh Ismail, is the Assistant Registrar in Kadhi’s office and he is the one who officiated the ceremony according to Muslim practice.
Sheikh Ismail offered advice to Muhammad Gikunda on how to live with Siama Yusuf, his wife. Duas (prayers) were also recited by the Imam of the mosque to wish the couple Allah’s blessings and guidance.
Men are not left out of the wedding plan. They have a role of ensuring that whatever is demanded from the girl’s family is provided. “As long as the marriage has not been finalized, men of the family have to be on their toes,” the brides uncle, Mohamed Hassan, says.
In a packed Kambi Ulum mosque in Kibera, Sheikh Ismail announced Gikunda and Siama man and wife. “We wish the young couple all the best in their marriage,” Sheikh Ismail said.
At this point other celebrations may follow, but the wedding ceremony has been completed.
What was given out to the bride and her parents?
According to Mohamed Hassan, the bride’s uncle, the following are some of listed gifts (right) to
the bride and her parents.
Just to make sure things don’t go wrong, Hassan and relatives have to be present to make sure the items requested are there. The following are the gifts:-
1: Four round sisal trays containing different items to the bride. In them is: Heena, a night
dress, pair of lesso, perfume, shoes (out and indoor), candles, coconut oil, incense, matchbox,
razor blades, mirror, sewing thread among others
2: A pair of blankets for the bride’s parents.
3: Several kilogrammes of beef meat.
4: Clothing material.
5: A bale of maize meal and wheat flour.
6: Cooking oil.
7: 50 kgs. Maize meal.
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